“Sandy has a body odor problem and you need to tell her.”
Those were the words Nancy said to me as she sat across from me in my office. I looked at the Nancy and said, “But you are her closest friend in the unit. That kind of message is received best from a close friend.”
That began a conversation in which Nancy tells me about a problem and expects me to fix it because it is my “responsibility” as the supervisor to address these types of issues.
Welcome to Supervising 101 – the stuff they don’t teach you in college. The real life issues that happen when a group of people work and sit closely to one another all day long.
Nancy walked out of my office and I just sat there. I definitely needed to sleep on this one and think this through. First thing I did was put myself in Sandy’s position and think about how I would want to receive a message like that.
Changing my perspective really helped me figure out how to handle this. Most importantly I wanted to respect Sandy’s privacy on this and not draw attention to her when I spoke with her. I also didn’t want to blow this up into some big issue so no calling her into my office to discuss this. Timing was going to be important. I decided short and sweet would be my approach (cause that’s how I’d prefer to hear something like that).
I started watching for an opportunity when Sandy was alone and no others were watching or within hearing distance. It took a couple days, but eventually the perfect time arrived. Sandy happened to be moving a bit slower than the others to get to lunch. I walked over to where she was and got close to her to speak softly. I told her I wanted to bring something to her attention that I noticed. I mentioned there were days when her body odor was a bit strong. She looked at me with shocked eyes. She said she had no idea. I said I thought she might not realize it. She said she would take care of it. I said that would be a really good thing. Then I walked away casually.
The next day at lunch I noticed Sandy went to the restroom and freshened up. This was a behavior she adopted from that day forward. She solved her own problem without me making suggestions. There was no more body odor problem after that. I never had to talk with her about that issue again.
What I learned from this experience:
- Sometimes the people who should be telling others about these types of things just won’t step up and do it.
- When I’m responsible for a group of people, whether supervising, managing or whatever level I am going to have to handle difficult situations. It comes with the territory. No getting around it. I will need courage to face these situations.
- Sleeping on it for a night is wise strategy. I find after I sleep on it a new thought or rather better thought comes to mind.
- Thinking through a situation from the perspective of the person receiving the news is crucial to it being successful.
- Handling the situation in a timely manner is important. No need to drag it out for a weeks.
- Being respectful really helps the person to be responsive to what I’m saying.
- Regarding personal issues like this it’s important not to make it a big deal.
- Sometimes people are totally unaware of the problem and caught off guard when spoken to.
- People need to be spoken to honestly and given a chance to handle it on their own.
- I did not need to tell Sandy how to solve the problem. She figured it out all by herself.
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